grief wears different masks on everyone
can strip normal away from even the simplest rhythms like eating well
or consistently
a dear friend asked me
peering closely at my face if I had lost weight
and I have
it’s been silently slipping away
a quiet unraveling that I was too afraid of acknowledging
so instead I started asking friends how to be strong
to teach me to do squats
I want to be strong
because day by day
I can feel pieces of me slipping away
into the motions of every day
until I’m at my front door with vertigo
turning my key
dizzy
snapped into reality
because I didn’t notice how I got there
it takes a lot of courage to admit that you have weaknesses
or need help
I haven’t figured it out well yet
but if you’re wondering how to start healing
call someone
breathe stiffly for a bit until
you realize you can’t hide the crying
and then give yourself a hug
from me
to you
wherever you are
Em Lexeme 